Sid Branca
0

This bed is a ship

manymistypes:

april 12, 2015 - sidbranca / thisbedisaship

A magazine article tells me that I make myself so busy
in order to avoid my feelings

I tell the magazine I’m not sure how she thinks it’s possible
for me to avoid the thing that makes up my very existence

but she is right that I should not buy any more office supplies
until I’ve used up the ones I have.

I realize that I am behind in a lot of things
and that I’m a little freaked out

and that a graduation ceremony is perhaps more  
a ritual of fear than it is of pride

but despite the wires that run in my blood
despite the great oozing weight that smothers my heart

despite the white hot rage in my fingernails
and the fear and the fear and the fear

(daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy
do not let me be so trite as to become you)

when I manage to unclench my fists
when the nights are warm and my lips are wet

I surprise myself by finding
a glowing bulb of joy inside my chest

and that it’s mine
and that I think I might be happy.

Sid Brancasid branca, poetry, many mistypesComment
April 9 / sidbranca thisbedisaship I’d like to write a platonic love letter to my best friend because she is more deserving of flowery prose and whiskey-fueled declarations of undying devotion than plenty of the men (and women) who’ve…

April 9 / sidbranca thisbedisaship

I’d like to write a platonic love letter to my best friend
because she is more deserving of flowery prose and whiskey-fueled declarations of undying devotion
than plenty of the men
(and women)
who’ve received them
but part of why I value her presence in my life so highly
is that I don’t need to sublimate my feelings into poems
I can just talk to her
like an actual human.
-
I am so fucking grateful to be writing every day again
I feel just a little bit healthier
like the days I almost drink as much water as I’m supposed to.
-
I am trying to be kinder to myself:
finally dig the dark nights out from under my nails, let the scum float to the top and be skimmed off, remember that I am best to the world I would have love me if I am best to myself.

Sid Brancasid branca, many mistypes, writing, friendship, AprilComment